Something to be Thankful for

So, I sat here for about 15 before I even started writing. I guess what I want to say is very hard to put into words. How do you put feelings on a page when you don't even know how to put them into words? How do you show your very best friend, your life partner, that you love and cherish them and will always do so every day for the rest of your lives? How do you explain to someone else that what you share can never, ever be duplicated? And can never be shared with anyone else? How do you tell the one you love that there could never be anyone else, even if you had to live the entire rest of your life alone? How do you put into words the millions of things that can wait to be said that an accident can take away from you in an instant? An accident that can take everything you love so dearly away from you forever??

Today, an accident happened in Josh's old squadron. Sgt Renteria, a Marine he worked with in QA, was killed in an automobile accident. I know for sure he left behind him a wife; I'm unsure of kids. And... maybe this is very selfish of me but, when he told me that all I could think about was how very glad I was that it wasn't him!! I knew that I should have been praying for his family just then but, in that one split second, before your mind even starts to register the magnitude of what has happend, I thanked God that He didn't take my husband. It's horrible, I know but, the knowledge that it could have been him just took any rational thought from me. I can't even imagin what Sgt Rent's wife is going through right now. Because, if it was me... I think I would have died right along with him....

Most people don't know what they have until they have lost it. Well, I know what I have. God has BLESSED me, 100 fold, MUCH MORE that I deserve! I have a man who is loving, and caring and supportive. Who tries to make me breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning. = )A man who helps with the household chores; he thinks they should be shared. I have a man that will listen to me when I need to vent and just hold me when I need to cry. A man who can speak volumes without saying one word @ all. I HAVE a WONDERFUL man. And I never want to imagine for a minute that I might someday have to go on living my life without him in it. I want him to be there for another anniversary (we just celebrated our first on the 11th!); for the birth of our children. I want him to watch them grow into wonderful adults and parents, someday. I want to buy our first house together; celebrate our 70th wedding anniversary. I want us to grow old together and know that we cherished every single moment of our lives with one another. I want him and only him for the rest of my life. I want to wake up every morning and know how truely blessed I am, and be grateful for it. I want more cuddle time and date nights. I want more time, because I know it will just fly by. And I want God to know that I am eternaly grateful for every second HE grants me to share with my husband.
















And... I want Josh to know... that maybe, in a 100,000 years of us being together, I will never truely get to say all of those things that I have in my heart, most of them unable to be put into words. And I know that "I Love You" can never truely be put to it's true potential; this world will never do it justice. But, for what it's worth, I love you... soo much. So much that it hurts sometimes. So much that sometimes I just think that I am going to burst with joy! So much that, I cannot even fathom a life without you in it. You are the best part of me, the part that God filled up personally because He wanted to put more happiness in the world. He knew what He was doing when He put us together. All those trial led up to now. And now that I have you, I never want to let you go; now that I have lived life with you, I can never imagin life without you. You are the love of my life... and you take my breath away. For LIFE is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments, that take our breath away.... so, to my love, my life: I have always and will always love you. And I am truely thankful for you. I hope that you will always know that, no matter where our road will lead us.